This column is about woodcocks.
When the ground is soft enough, woodcocks probe for worms. Photo by Kevin Karlson.
(Snicker, snicker; giggle, giggle.)
Stop being sophomoric. A woodcock is a bird. If you had something else in mind, you were mistaken. ‘Probably explains why you’ve never seen one.
But you can. Just about now – about the same time those little bunnies get interested in more little bunnies, the American Woodcock starts feeling it’s oats as well. Warm evenings from mid-February through early May prompt these hormonally fueled shorebirds to go ballistic, advertising their lust from aloft.
What does it look like? It looks like a meat loaf on a stick (more nearly a plump, buff and brown bird with a real, real long bill, and big dark eyes placed high atop its head). It uses this bill to probe for earthworms. It uses its high set eyes to look for danger while it’s committing osculation with the earth. It is….
…really an anomalous creature; an upland shorebird, but utterly winsome. When they walk, they bounce (about like John Travolta). When they go aloft, they twitter – you could say, like Thumper (the lovesick rabbit in Bambi), they’re twitterpated!
The birds are courting and the courtship flight of the American Woodcock is worth experiencing, particularly since you needn’t go far to do so. Launch sites are found in open fields (or large grassy yards) like Higbee Beach and in parts of the Cape May National Wildlife Refuge (most notably, on Woodcock Lane off Route 47).
This American Woodcock was photographed by George Myers on the road at Jake’s Landing. A reminder to drive with caution.
Here’s what you do. Head out to one of these places at dusk (or dawn). Listen. Woodcocks warm up their booster engines by “peenting.” A peent sounds like a short, reedy buzz given at about 10-15 second intervals. Then the birds go ballistic, spiraling aloft on twittering wings and a series of notes that sounds like water dripping in the caverns of your mind or the ending notes of the first cut on Emerson Lake and Palmer’s “Brain Salad Surgery” album (but unless you are an old EL&P fan this reference is probably too esoteric to be of much use).
Does it work (or, as otherwise stated, does the guy get the girl)? Apparently, yes. Woodcock, while declining overall, are still reasonably common. This means that the ranks of birds thinned by normal attrition are being almost matched by recruitment into the population courtesy of procreation. The root of the decline is not linked to erectile dysfunction (so far as we know). The problem is loss of habitat. Woodcock thrive in a narrow vegetative band—upland edges and regenerating woodlands in the early stages of succession. During the 20th Century, when fallow farmland reverted to forest, woodcock thrived. As forests mature, woodcock decline. When forests reach their climax stage (i.e. become housing developments), woodcock disappear.
Before you start castigating woodcocks for their silly courtship rituals just remember that in the history of the world no woodcock has ever called a dating service, never been party to a blind date, or has ever walked up to another woodcock and said, for openers, “can I buy you a drink?” Or, as would be more fitting for woodcock, “hey, can I get you a worm?”
They just dance. Lots of creatures do it. So if you want to impress your significant other, head out to one of the aforementioned spots, on a mild night towards dusk, and listen, then watch.
If the temperature is below 40 degrees, don’t bother. Cold throws a wet blanket on a woodcock’s ardor (and most humans as well). You’re better off building a fire. Sitting down with a glass of wine. Pull out some old favorite album (after you dust it off); or just snuggle up like a bunny and watch Bambi.